“Pain still resides in me”

This all started after my belief in god started. I had “handed my life over to god.” I have to admit, i could feel a weight come off of me when I did. Everything had started to turn around when It happened. I had gotten a girlfriend, she was beautiful. i loved everything about her. 

The way her brown eyes sparkled when she looked up at me, the way she could make me and everyone in the room laugh, how she could make me smile just by looking at her. I loved how mature she was and how she was one of the few girls that i ever dated that liked me for my personality and didn’t care about my looks.  She was also a hard working person which i really admired about her. She would put so much effort into her work...almost as if it was life or death. I admired that about her because most girls around my age don’t really work. She had taken it to another level by working two jobs and trying to balance schoolwork on top of that.

 I swear, i loved her so much. It made me happy that we knew how to cheer each other up,  how we knew how to make each other smile,  how we knew how to make each other laugh. She was like the opposite of me in some areas which made me love her so much more because you can’t have a relationship without having some opposite things about each other. Like for example, She was very active, always wanted to do something or go somewhere. That’s the exact opposite of me, I liked to sit down and relax and not do anything.

 It’s hard to explain but it just mixed well together. I guess it’s like the term “opposites attract” i felt amazing every time I was around her.  We liked a lot of the same things as well. Like how we both liked drinking monster energy drinks, and we both loved to skateboard and longboard.  We could both be kicked back and relaxed but if we felt we had to get serious, we both knew when to put our feet down. 

I was trying so hard to be an awesome boyfriend. I made sure she was always safe and secure and if she wasn’t i was right next to her ready to protect her no matter what. I never acted too clingy with her because I didn't want her to think I was one of those boyfriends that get worried if she is with some friends, no I wanted her to know I trust her 100%. I wanted to make sure I’d never ever forget anything I learn about her. So I wrote them down. 

I was even beginning to make a poem out of my love for her. Unfortunately my heart has been broken and I feel that she has broken my invisible shield that protected me from getting hurt all these Years. I feel that she broke through that when I met her… and now she’s gone. I sit here now, depressed and doubtful of myself. Thinking things like “was I not trying hard enough?” And “did I not show my love for her enough?” I also reached the point where I think to myself “I don't deserve love. I'm an ugly monster that no girl could ever love.” 

I don't think that I'll ever find a girl as amazing and as understanding as she was.  

"The dancer’s final leap”

“I exist only to dance.”
i say to myself as i fail over and over repeatedly.
“You're not good enough” they say.
“you’re a failure” they repeat.
I try to prove them wrong...over and over.
“...Useless”  i say as i fall to the ground again.
I try harder and harder but failure is all that awaited me.    

“UNBREAKABLE CHAIN!”
I scream as i cannot stop failing.
I remember why i exist
and to what’s my purpose in life
as i make the final leap and land on my feet…
I hear a faint voice say
“The sky is inside you”

I smile widely
finally understanding who i am
and my life’s complete purpose.
For i’ve seen now
that it was never about the distance

But it was about the mile and the
journey taken during it

marriage proposal

Countless hearts were strung but only one remained uncut.

short poem "madness consumes me"

Isiah Hart

Madness

We’re bags of flesh that somehow developed the ability to feel foolish emotions like pain, anger, sadness, fear, etc. 

I've learned that there is one thing that can overcome all of it.

It is something that everyone has in them but doesn't appreciate... 

Madness. 

Madness once consuming the person, eliminates all that makes us weak. 

speculative fiction "jasper Grimm"

Isiah Hart


                            Jasper Grimm

Jasper’s heart is instead replaced with a black hole filled with nothing but depression and despair. Jasper is the Prince of Hell. Jasper’s mind is filled with the most twisted and vile thoughts that any one can think of. Jasper Grimm is Jack the skeleton’s cousin; Jasper is the reason Jack is who he is today.
Jasper has a sister. Her name is Kasper. Kasper wasn't born until after Jasper had started building his reputation in the realm of demons, but Kasper still needs some improvement in putting fear into the hearts of those she chooses but as long as jasper is by her side, Kasper has nothing to worry about. Jasper feeds off of children's nightmares, while he quenches his thirst with the blood of his enemies.  Jasper is a slim, 6'7 tall, pale-skinned man that, when shown in the light, he looks almost as if he's a walking corpse.
It was october, friday the 13th, 2014. Most people see this day as the most unlucky day in history, except for one person, Jasper Grimm. He was born in a world that no normal human can ever reach. Jasper acknowledges Friday the 13th as the day that always puts a smile on his face.
This day was rather odd… more odd than usual. The day hadn’t started off with a woman’s shriek or the gurgling sound of a man choking on his own blood like every other friday the 13th did. No, something was wrong and Jasper was going to find out what. Jasper climbed out of his coffin. As Jasper closed the door and jumped over his porch steps which were destroyed as a result from the foolish creature known as Freddy Krueger trying to fight a battle he knew he couldn’t win against Jasper. As Jasper jumped over the steps, he smiled at the memory of how Freddy had begged for forgiveness after being flung into the steps as if he were a ragdoll.

Jasper looked back at the steps “hehehe, fool”
then started walking  through the shadows and stopped once he reached the portal that lead to earth. Jasper jumped into the portal and disappeared then reappeared in an abandoned warehouse from which had a perfect view of the whole city of Rochester.
“Now let’s see what these things have been up to since my last visit.”
 Jasper heard birds chirping and looked down to see people acting as if today is just some regular day again. “w-w-w-what?! fools! How dare you make a mockery of today!” Jasper turned around and with a swift movement of his hand, had opened his own gateway back to his world and stepped through it.

Jasper reappeared in his world with the feeling of disappointment and anger over flowing within himself.
“Hey, bro.” Jasper looked up and realised it was his little sister Kasper. “How’s the life been?” Kasper jumped down off of the ledge of Jasper’s house.
“Terrible sis, those fools on earth have forgotten the day that I struck fear into each and every one of their hearts.”
Kasper smiled “Well, we never got to spend some quality time together… Maybe this could be our chance.”
Jasper reacted with a confused look on his face “What do you mean?”
Kasper looked into Jasper’s empty eye sockets “We can go back to earth tonight and kill some of those idiots and leave them a message to remind them who they should be scared of”
Jasper then smiled very widely. “That’s a brilliant idea Kasper. Let’s do it, I’ll see you later tonight sis.”
Kasper turned around “Okay, bye bro. Be ready.”

11:00 pm had struck and Kasper and Jasper had reappeared at the portal to earth. “ready to do this bro?” Kasper smiled after asking this.
Jasper smirked“When am i not?”
 Jasper and Kasper than both jumped into the portal and reappeared back at the abandoned house.
Kasper looked up at Jasper “Shall we begin?”
Jasper and Kasper both smiled as they began stealthily entering houses and leaving every foolish human with a message. Their first victim was a man that lived with his new girlfriend. Jasper and Kasper snuck into the house and crept up behind him. Kasper stood in front of the guy with a knife in her hand as she smiled at the man.
“Hi, time to die.” Kasper smiled as Jasper held the man down while Kasper slowly stuck the knife into the man and began to carve something into the man as his limbs started to slowly go limp. Once Kasper was done Jasper hung the man up on the wall and exited the house.

Within a mile away from the mans house, Jasper and Kasper heard the woman shriek as she must've just seen the message that they wrote. The message said, “Soon you will all remember! Fear Jasper Grimm and Kasper Grimm.” They continued this throughout every house while leaving a different message in each house. Within 57 minutes, Jasper and Kasper marked 85 houses of who to fear and exactly why they should be feared. Unfortunately, their fun had come to an end. If Jasper and Kasper didn’t make it to the portal before 12, then they would be stuck in this pathetic world until the next Friday the 13th.
Jasper turned towards Kasper “Kasper, come on it’s time to go. We’ve dealt enough damage for these fools to remember me and you for the rest of their pathetic lives.”
Kaspers smile faded and turned to a frown “Aaaw. ok let’s go.”
Jasper and Kasper ran as fast as they could down to the building and jumped through the portal at the very last second.

Jasper and Kasper appeared back in their world breathing heavy.
Jasper looked at Kasper out of breath, “Yes! we made it. Thanks sis that was fun.”
Kasper stood up “No problem bro. I had fun too.”
Jasper then stood up and hugged Kasper. “Well… It’s time to go our separate ways again sis.”
Kasper looked up at Jasper. “We’ll still see each other sometimes and talk a little.”
Jasper turned around and looked back at Kasper “Yeah...see you around sis” Jasper then waved at Kasper and began walking back to his house as Kasper Sighed then with a swift jump, appeared in the moonlight then disappeared.

Short story "A smack of realization from the world"

Isiah hart

A smack of realization from the world

I stood there, at the bus stop shivering with the frightening thought of being all alone in this miserable world. That I might wake up one day and notice that all the people I once knew... Suddenly disappeared. We discuss the world and it's endless evolution that led to this age in history. The clock ticks by with each passing regret, tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock.
The end is near, all isn't how it seemed. As the hours progressed faster and faster, the closer my fear got. Later on, my fear had unexpectedly become my difference between the illusion of what's real and what's fantasy.

I walk home after an endless day of learning what i already know almost as if i'm stuck on repeat day after day. After walking through the door and taking a quick glimpse at what difference my existence has made. Silence…
I walk up the lonely stairs and walk into what had once been my room but is now empty.
I walk back downstairs to try to feel the presence of my parents, but to no avail.
“Hello?” I yell, then wait to hear another voice in the house respond, Still nothing.

Suddenly, I see my grandmother rocking in her chair, crying. I walk to her very slowly as to not upset her any more in any possible way.
“Grandma? What’s wrong?” I ask as I look at her.
No answer.
“Grandma what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” suddenly she responds not to me, but to the man sitting next to her that is wearing a large black hood.
“Is she really gone? Is my granddaughter really gone?”
I look at her confused “What are you talking about grandma? I’m right here.”
Suddenly the hooded-man looks up at me and says “I’m sorry, but she can’t hear you.”
I looked at the man with a worried expression “What do you mean?”
The hooded-man replies in a serious tone “I mean you’re dead, she can’t hear you or see you.”-
My thoughts immediately begin to race with questions as i suddenly begin to fade away “What’s happening?!”
“I’ll see you once you arrive in your afterlife.” Was the last sentence the man uttered as i disappeared. I then begin to smile as i realize that I will not be alone soon and i won’t have to live in that horrible life that i was given.

"Forget and finish it all" poem

Isiah Hart

“forget and finish it all”

I sit on the porch steps,
all i see is repetition of nothing but horrendous memories;
physical abuse, mental abuse, neglect, and arguments.
I pray and pray that today might be it...
that today i can be set free from this horrible nightmare.
Nothing yet but no one can prevent the inevitable.

At Last! He left exited the facility,
Foolishly causing what he fears most…
to become a reality.
I hear the door fully close
as his presence is no longer here.

I peer out the hallway as
a sign of caution.
A lonely soul exist in a now empty
house, grabbing the razor i walk across the hallway.
Reaching the door i enter, turn around, lock the door, and sit down.

Relief is all i feel as the blood trickles down my arm and to the floor.
I feel better as i get deeper and deeper into the cut,
“No more pain, no more torture. Finally” are the last
words i utter out of me as Darkness surrounds me
as i fall to the floor with a thud.
Goodbye.

What's love poem

Isiah “love” I love you, That’s what you constantly hear people say but what does it truly mean? Is it possible that we just say this phrase in order to cover the lie behind what it truly means? How can we low-class humans truly understand the definition of a powerful word such as love? And they say that everyone has a soul mate just waiting for them, is that true? we spend all our lives dating, trying to find that one soul mate that’s perfect for that individual. Meanwhile, we are sometimes cheated on by that “soul mate” Each time that happens to him/her, A little piece of us is torn from what we need in order to even remotely understand how to love- compassion. Compassion is what makes us our own unique and individual person. Without it, we’re nothing but a walking corpse.

Happiness

Isiah 

Happiness

Because the sun was producing a faint glimmer of light
and I heard the nest of birds that rested on a branch near my window
chirping peacefully in the slightly cold wind ---
they stopped shortly after i stepped out the door
but it was enough to understand that not all good things last forever--

and because this morning
when i went down the stairs into the pitch black darkness
to meet with what people call the depth and source of knowledge,
to understand his opinion on who really controls emotions,

and because I stood there stranded in a maze
with only a faint circular shaped light which changed colors, 
as i reached the end i felt joy arise,
the ball suddenly changed to a yellow, 
exiting this complication of life had filled me with joy,
immediately it hit me i was all alone now--

and because i was alone i squinted at the ball,
something unimaginable had happened,
the truth had hit me i am the ball of light and i control my own emotions, 
i lived my life knowing that the only thing i had to seek, 
was happiness 

Stay Strong

Ever since i was a kid, i have been bullied. When people hear this, they think to themselves "Why didn't he/she go and talk to someone?" What those people don't understand is that while we are growing up we have too much pride in ourselves to ask anyone for help for anything. When a kid does go and ask for help, it's difficult because as kids, we enjoy being independent so when something goes wrong, we don't rely on anyone but ourselves to try and handle it. Most kids nowadays don't even have enough self respect and courage to get back up if someone knocks them down...i am here to tell those kids that you can not give up. You can't just let someone push you around like you're no better than the ground that we walk on. Every person that's going through that right now... you need to remember that if you want any of that to get better for you, than you need to get back up. I promise you that it will only get better for you if you choose to make it better. So remember, no matter how much you're knocked down just stay strong and get right back up.

My review of "Age of miracles" By Karen Thompson Walker

I have been reading the book "age of miracles" by Karen Thompson Walker. My review so far of this book is, i believe this book places a whole other perspective of earth and how much we should cherish what he have and who we have in our lives, because you never know when it could all be over. My review when i first started reading "Age of miracles" was, the disasters soon to come were very well hidden and unnoticeable. My review of "Age of miracles" now is,  it is a well written, thought-out, and very descriptive book that i suggest everyone pick up. I had learned to add more description and emotion in my writing  after i read "Age of miracles". 

the type of reader that i am

In case any of you fellow readers/writers out there are wondering what kind of a reader i am, i'm going to tell you. I am a mix of a realist and fantasist reader. "Hatchet" is one of my favorite books to read, along with "Freak the mighty", and "Abduction". I enjoy reading because of the inspiration and ideas that each book gives me.

Hello internet people!

Hi there! welcome to my new blog. My name is Isiah, i am a student at SOTA, taking a creative writing course.